Yesterday was AGM at my old church which I attended. It was the worst AGM ever.

We didn’t have enough people and waited for about 25 minutes before we could started. The chairman suggested to first go to the reports first because it doesn’t require votes or approval for members but Chrs said that he never seen a meeting that would rearrange the order of the agenda like that.

I found it a bit ridiculous but the chairman said he wouldn’t do that if anybody is against it, so we waited. My father mentioned that if all the reports are already written in the year book, people who are absent now can read the year book and we can go ahead. But the chairman didn’t budge.

I didn’t think of it then but I think it was a stalling tactic.

When we finally had enough people, Shir started from from last year’s meeting with correcting the wording of what she said as recorded in the year book.

I actually noticed there were many things people said that are missing from the year book. My dad mentioned that what last year’s chairman, Pan, said about the headquarter founding about MS was also missing. I didn’t notice it at all but yes, it was totally missing.

My father requested to have that put back into the year book but the chairman said only the person who said those things has the power to make the change. My father asked last year’s chairman, Pan, if he said those things, Pan said he can’t remember.

I was like, seriously? I had earlier asked if there was a recording and they said yes. So my father said they could put it back in with the recording.

The chairman replied that it is up to the person who said those things. My father was outraged and find that to be an abuse of power because it was a public meeting and they should write it down so people know.

Before that I mentioned how the style and format of how the discussion was recorded on paper is very different from the years before.

I expressed that we are a church under a denomination that is under a member system. Members have the right to know what happened truthfully. Things shouldn’t be hidden and that I think that if the format didn’t change and the wordings were recorded accurately, we wouldn’t be having this discussion.

I don’t know why but the chairman kept on telling my dad to stop talking and that it was the end of discussion. But the discussion wasn’t even finished and the request was not inappropriate.

There were four points that the HQ confirmed and Pan said it in front of everybody yet it was not recorded and my dad had been asking me what those were for like two years. The deacon board never replied to my father for two years.

I didn’t think of it then but in hindsight I realized that the deacon board was attempting to just put the whole issue under the rug. It didn’t want to offend MS and his supporter. It doesn’t help when two of the deacons are great supporters of MS, as well as one of the pastors.

Afterwards it was the financial report and renovation reports. Both were very boring. The financial report was about how there is a slight drop in church attendance yet offering increased, yet did not increase as much as last year. It was like a stock owner meeting. It was boring and basically we have like over $7 million cash. The deacon in charge of finance said although there’s 7 million dollars, it is worth less than the 5 million dollars we had like 4 years ago.

I was thinking, we should’ve spent that wisely like 5 years back when we could’ve bought a new place and much bigger place for cheap 2009 during the Financial Tsunami except the deacons never had a meeting on it or even told the congregation about that great opportunities which several leaders were very excited as well as my dad. The same place was bought by another church.

Then it was renovation report which was like 20 minutes and with a 7 minutes sharing by the newest member which was unheard of before. She is my friend and she was honored and excited plus nervous to share in front of so many people. Joe was trying to stall. There was never an individual sharing during AGM, especially when you already were delayed for 30 minutes. And then it was Pan who reported on the “revival” which was basically showing slides on the activities we did and introduce how other churches are doing…

Good question by Hong who asked afterwards, “After showing all the slides, are there any practical plans we will be doing?”

Chairman answered this question,”Revival, … It will be good if we could just agree on who to do renovation.” Meaning, no there isn’t. Agreeing on anything is already a hard task even for renovation.

At the question time at the end, nobody was asking anything so I asked what’s the resolution for the whole MS ordeal. It was resolved. I was a big shocked because just at the beginning of the AGM, his wife stated that MS that he denies everything and report of the HQ committee that investigated the matter.

The pro MS pastor said we had a sharing meeting and I told him the whole meeting was bias. They arranged pro MS people to chair the meeting and the “older members” all said good things about MS.

I shared my experience and observation but I was stopped by the chairman who was making faces and rolling his eyes as I talked which he also did when my father talked. It was very disrespectful.

After the AGM a few people came up to me to talk to me, they felt sorry for me. It was a very empty AGM with nothing much of substance.

It is really time to go. But it’s so petty. It is such a petty. I got some messages with people asking how my father and I are feeling.

I was quite upset at the chairman’s attitude.

I think the worst thing about being the PK is that nobody really understand you and it is very lonely. I know so much, so much bad stuff in the church that it’s hell to live. I have to put those thoughts behind every time going to church and do good work and be nice to everybody despite of all the knowledge and information of what’s actually going on. You can read people’s motives that others can’t. You are a insider and an outsider.

You are not going to be on the same page with others, your peers, unless you have incredible friends, don’t understand you. Evildoers or people with agendas come attack you knowing that you might spill their beans. But we are always reactive. I never imagined that it would be like this yet I could foresee unpresentness.

At night, being quite depressed and down, the disappointment and hopelessness for this church was sinking in. I wrote to the chairman about how I felt and how that he was being disrespectful to us. He told me let’s wait a few days and God will talk to His people himself.

I looked at a video of my small group at the new church I was going and I was smiling.

I know, I know, it’s overdue. I should be out of here. I have been here too long. I am wasting time and energy and all the good God gave me. People don’t appreciate it.


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