Starting Over

I went to the new church today and as Chinese New Year approaches, I am taking a big step and decision to get more active and involved in the new church. It’s hard. I feel like I lost 7 years of my life at a church and lost a community that was very close to my heart, and it still is.

It’s an emotional toll on me. I have to start over. The funny thing is, I knew this day would happen and I had been emotionally and practically preparing myself for the past 3 years or so, ever since I sensed the change at church and that my dad was going to leave TC. However, I never imagined it would be so bad.

Anyway, the people at the church are friendly, or much friendlier than TC. I went early and sat down at the library of the church and the librarians and I started to have a lively chat. It was spontaneous. I felt welcomed.

I realized that it’s hard for the pastors at this church as well. It’s a really mixed group. Andy the pastor was pretty busy. I ate lunch with Pear and Gay. Just three guys. It was cool. The guys are laid back. I was learning more about different people and the church from them.

They made some comments about the pastor who is taking paternity leave why she is not attending church on Sunday. I suggested that she might be going to a church near her place. I was defending her. But I realize the hard standard the pastors face from another side. They also made comments about pastor’s kid when they talk about how one is at church because his father is working at a different church. I made the comment that it’s probably better for the kid, especially during his teen years to stay in one church. I was talking from my own experience. They said PKs often talk like they are special or important. I revealed that I am a PK too, which I kind of regret because they dropped the topic afterwards and I might be better at understanding their views and be the in-between guy.

Part of me hate this, this change I have to make, but I know it’s good for me. It’s just so tiring. I am not really asking for much, I just want to have a regular life, have a regular church life, I am not asking too much. I want to just be part of a Christ-like community to love, nurture and vice versa. I really feel like 7 years of my life was taken away from me because of some short-sighted selfish insecure pigs.

It kind of renewed my vision and passion for PK ministry in Hong Kong.

I end this post with the last speech from Conan O’Brien during his short time at NBC’s Tonight’s Show.

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