Today, for this year’s first Sunday service I went to a new church. The message was alright. I felt right. Even though at prayer time and even during communion I prayed for my old church.
Afterwards I went back to my old church and had a lunch buffet with my friends. I thought about telling them that I was going to another church starting this year but I didn’t. We had a great time, but the funny thing is that half of us are not part of the same fellowship and we are together mainly because we went on a short-term mission trip together and kept keeping up with one another. One of them have started going to another church.
It was bitter-sweet.
However, I don’t feel there is hope for this church and fellowship. There are people who are rising the level at my old church. There is a gang and it’s consolidating. I have talk a few deacons and I realized that they don’t see what the problems is and lack the ability to reflect on the decisions they have made. It is strange because they do try to hide things yet they won’t admit that they made bad decisions. They protect one another. I did get one of them to revealed a little more and I think I wrote this before, she said the church might go downhill and get worst, and we just have to accept it.
I feel very strongly to know what the problem is and I have been trying to tell as many people as possible about it with little effect. I really hope the people would wake up and a bunch of them would get together and make a difference. I can’t do it alone. And it’s sad that none of the good people wanted to get together to make things right.
My small group is falling apart. Half of the people are not coming anymore and I feel like we are all pretending that things are okay when it’s not.
At the new church, the reverend, a pastor and a seminary student are in my small group. I want to start anew.