I haven’t posted in over a month. Mostly because I have been really busy with the new school year and taking part in a drama performance.
Leadership is very very important, the senior leadership is very important in a church. If the senior leadership have bad teaching, make compromise with teachings of the Bible, do things away from biblical principles, the people will follow.
The unhealthy trend in the church is that the deacons actually is the head leadership and the pastors follow the deacons because deacons are the ones who decide whether they will stay in the job or not. And some of the deacons do use pretty ruthless ways to get rid of pastors who don’t fall in line.
I have seen pastors either changing to fall in line, or stood their ground and were forced out or left on their own terms.
Worst is that I am even seeing intern seminary student changing, compromising to appease the senior leaderships to help their job outlook at this church.
I get really sad myself when I see this. 7 pastors have left ever since I first came to this church.
I see bad people who are ignorant of biblical truth and are non-practicing Christians taking senior leadership positions in the deacon board based on their status and popularity. They think they are doing the right thing (I don’t know how that is possible if they understand the Bible) but are killing the church, hurting people’s spiritual lives.
The worst thing is, most people aren’t aware.
I also feel very disappointed with the brothers and sisters I have cared for about 8 years. I find the failure of the fellowship has to do with selfishness and self-centeredness. There was a sister who said to me that people leave and go, it’s their business. It’s not our business to interfere. That hurts. People just don’t care when people leave. I think in our small group, we used to have 4 newer comers who haven’t been coming for pretty much half a year.
Some of us, a few of us have made effort to meet up with them, to see what’s going on and we found out that they have been going to other churches. One told me that he found that people are selfish here. He just wanted to have a regular fellowship with people. And we had that, we had a good time together having fellowship and then the people attacked, made a lot of moves to separate us.
People are not dumb, they can smell and see selfishness.
And I think the case in my fellowship is mostly some of the sisters. I am not trying to be sexist but this is really what I think from my reflection and observation. The guys are easy going, but the girls are more picky, practical and selfish. It’s not just me but a few guys have shared this with me.
I realized that some girls come to church to hook up with guys and for them I think church is a good place to find a guy. My church being much better than most other church with an almost 50/50 ratio. And most of the guys have stable income, decent people, I would say kind, polite, not assertive. I would say a good bunch of guys.
In the past few years, I am saying 3 years or so, I found the sisters have been very bossy as they were given many serving posts, mostly middle leadership roles. And the guys have mostly accepted the truth that the girls run things around here, that’s the Hong Kong reality.
As for me, I see that the leadership in fellowship is using the girls as tools to make us all obedient to the senior leadership. I think I might offend someone here but sometimes these things have to be discussed, I think the leadership see that church going girls are quite submissive to authority figures. Guys are more independent thinker, riskier being more natural risk-takers, girls like stability and they don’t like conflict, so they would protect authority which for them might be equivalent to safety and stability.
The relationships between the guys have drifted really far. I think the two guys who I used to refer to brothers haven’t meet up for like a year. A big part of it is because of the girls’ influence on their boyfriends. At this stage, what’s most important for the girls is stability and getting married, and not offending the authority figures who would help in the wedding and etc.