“The Bully, The Bullied and the Bystander” by Barbara Coloroso

I just started reading “The Bully, The Bullied and the Bystander” by Barbara Coloroso and it’s about kids being bullied in school but some of the same concepts and theme can be applied to the church and actually explains quite well what has happened at church.

There is bullying at church. I am actually a victims and so are others. The bad deacons and the bad mentors are the bullies.

Church’s prospect is actually getting a bit grim. Some people are still kicking but it’s getting bad. We have a new pastor and she’s only been here a few months and people in our fellowship have already told her that they have considered leaving the fellowship.

I saw a couple who was in my group a few years back (before I went to Australia) going to another fellowship. That’s probably a smart move on their part, they couldn’t agree with things going on and the theology in our fellowship and only conflict would arise so they opted to go to another one. Before that, they had an excuse on why they stopped coming, their reason was that they had to take care of their ageing parents. Now I realize it was only a way for them to leave nicely.

And I found myself being impressed with my dad. He put up a really good fight.  It was and still is a horrible situation, and he stuck with it for almost 10 years and really did his best to try to change things around.

I am putting up a good fight too but I am realizing that it might not worth it. If the people there don’t want to change themselves, including the leadership, nothing can help them. Either the people have to voice out and tell the leadership to make real changes or the leadership themselves have to change, be obedient to God and follow God and lead.

But I don’t count on the leadership, meaning the deacon board. I can only see 3  of them who are legit Biblical leaders, who read the Bible, who understand the Bible and apply those principles in their lives. And they are not that strong, and in the minority. Also there is no head pastor. The acting head pastor is a flip flop who does whatever the most powerful party tell him to do. He’s not accountable to God, he’s accountable to his job. Pleasing the powerful players at church is more important than the truth to him. We have one more pastor who only been here a year until my father left, she’s on her second here and now we just had a new pastor who is just finding out how messed up we are.

I could see the change in her look already. She was mostly smile and excitement, now it is replaced with a face of cautiousness. She is playing smart so far. I wish her luck and I do like her. I think she is a good person but I am afraid she would become like our acting head pastor or the other one who has compromised a little with how she react to different people.

I think I am leaving. I have to leave. I already feel like I have wasted too much time already.


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