A week ago, I was sent the usher duty for Saturday service and was surprise to see that I was not on the roster for the next two months. I was wondering why. So I asked Hanson the coordinator. He told me that the secretary or admin assistant will be giving each one of us rest rotation. I told him I wish he told me earlier and I reflected on how the usher team never got together for review, improving and encourage and pray for one another. We also talked about how the whole Saturday service team never got together. Hanson was very honest with me, he told me that hasn’t been a meeting these two years. He told me it is because the deacon in charge of worship isn’t up to the job and that he had already talked to him about it but talking to him was useless.

Hanson told me all he could do was to stay by his position and do his job, it isn’t his position to call meeting. I told him he could at least raise problem and needs out. He told me he is more realistic or practical, and that I am more idealistic. From the way he sees it, the only way to change the situation is to have the deacon removed. He told me he was being very frank with me. I asked him who is the pastor supposedly in charge, he said he isn’t sure. It should be one of the pastors who is the in-acting head pastor for the moment but he told me he doesn’t have the power, or as he said, the pastor has not sat in his seat properly yet.

As for my fellowship, I talked to our ex-fellowship leader about the problem of intolerance in Bible study and how people are discouraged and even slammed for giving Bible verses a different interpretation than the counsellors who are the deacon in charge of worship and his wife as well. Criss told me that he too had been “banned” when giving his opinion or interpretation. But his approach is that he himself might be wrong and he acknowledges the superior Biblical knowledge of the counsellors. He also told me that when he was fellowship leader, our counsellors had more of a “free” approach. I told him that we are not primary school kids any more. I told him that it is extremity and if someone is banning all other legit interpretation than that’s wrong and would affect the growth of other members. He said that that is his approach, he would give his opinion and then keep quiet, but he told me that’s him, I don’t have to follow him. I told him I am not about debating or arguing but I can see how this practice is making people scare to share and give opinions in small group. I want to have discussion like we used to when we were in the same small group before.

I also talked to him about how some people are scheduled to serve and others are not. I also reflected how we have been singing from the same hymn book for the past 2 years and it wasn’t like this before.

We talked throughout the whole worship period. Then I asked people for sponsor me to raise fund for health care in China. However, before we left, it was probably Gar or Sherin who turned off the lights with us still inside the hall. I found that to be very rude and dangerous especially with my friend as a pregnant mom.



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