The Need to Move On

I think it was on Sunday afternoon and I don’t know why but dad put in this 70th Anniversary DVD of church. He was watching it and seemed quite happy.

I found it kind of strange. The leaders of that church ousted you. I think it bothers him greatly. It probably torn his heart open. I don’t know when he is going to recover from it. He probably feel like someone owes him something. And it’s not the people who were cruel who are paying up. It’s our family really.

Think of it, I think maybe it would be better if he left earlier when things were starting to go wrong.

I think we just have to cut ourselves out from it, no matter how painful it is.

If this is dad’s last job, it’s a sad note. He tried so hard, he fought the good fight. It hurts me to see him like this. From stress and etc, his immune system has been weakened and he has some skin issues that are not getting any better.

He aged so much in the past 2 years or so and all of it has to deal with this church. So, I think , pick a good church to work and go to, really, or it just suck you life out and dries you out.

For me, I think I wasted enough time here. I can’t make people change. If you guys are going to be continually to be selfish, I can’t help you, you can do what you want, you can decide, I just don’t want to tied down with you guys.

I just think it’s shitty and I feel bad for my dad.

I don’t know what kind of age we live in now, but I want to live free. At this church, you have to be careful with what you say. I don’t want to live in a world where we have to be phonies to survive and be afraid of what you say, when it is right and the truth, to offend someone.

I think that is a human right. A very very basic human right.

Time to go…time to go.

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