My dad taught History of Israel Sunday school class before he left and today, his class went to visit a Jewish Temple. He actually wanted to go, and when I told him the trip was happening, he said he was going, but he’s on vacation now.
Every time I bring back from church, he would ask me for the newsletter, who spoke today and how certain people from the church are doing. He still cares despite how he was treated and the bitterness and anger.
I still wonder why it had to end like this, with so much anger, bitterness and hatred between the two sides: those few deacons and my family. It didn’t have to be like that. My father was honest to them and the church about his plan, but those deacons were not. My father had the church’s best interest in mind. I am not sure about them, I am pretty sure they just wanted to oust him. They could’ve talked things out, worked out a timetable, worked out a plan, worked out a transition plan.
They could’ve let my dad worked a few more months, slide to a supervising pastor position while hiring pastoral staff.
There was something there, some people just didn’t work with him anymore. And it all came from a lot of history and misfired hatred.
For me, I also have the church’s and my fellowship’s best interest in mind but the direction we are going is not right. Many people can see it. A lot of it knew it, but I guess we choose to be silent about it. They don’t want to confront and maybe lose relationships or benefits.
That kind of brings me to the point to ask if we, Christians, are just “shoppers” with a consumer mindset asking, “What can we get from church and these relationships?” I find it rather selfish and all these manipulations came from selfishness, greed and insecurity.
I find out a brother wasn’t told to have a gathering this week for fellowship. I told another brother and he was shocked. Another suggested that we have our own Bible studies where we can be candid and not afraid of being scolded for expressing ourselves and opinions.
I told this to a friend who’s a pastor’s wife from another church. I told him I can do that, but that’s just a band-aid, it’s not a solution for the problem. And eventually, I will get worn out. She also told me that it might get messy and be questioned by others. I know but I don’t care about what other people say.
I so understand my father now. What he was going through. People will change. People are changing. Some friends are being more distanced and I find it surprising that the loyal ones are the one who are not as involved in church yet are also the quiet ones.