Almost 2012

In the previous few months, there has been some rumors about me and I found out because people asked me strange questions that came from no where.

People asked if I am going overseas for studying, or going to find jobs overseas.

The first reaction I had was, “Where did that come from?”

These are lies about me going back to school overseas, finding jobs overseas and etc.

People asked if my parents are going to US or Australia for work? If they have found job elsewhere.

Rumors. I wonder who spreaded those rumors, and I have a good clue. One of the deacon’s wife actually asked my mother if we have property in Australia.

Something that I have experienced here at this church is that people sometimes make a lot of assumption without real knowledge, a few people want information about us but not for caring. They just want to pick our brains.

I am still upset about the deacon’s board annoucement which included me and I felt disrespected and how it implies the message that our whole family is leaving the church. We never said anything about leaving. They never spoke to me but after the annoucement, one of the deacons asked me to talk with her and his husband. I actually have been asking if I could go visit them the whole year without response.

So I am a bit freaked out by these deacons who out of church politics would talk to me. I wonder if they know what they are doing is right, and what the heck is in their heads.

The worst thing is how they would alter the Words of God to fit their agenda. Messing with God’s word, oh my gosh. It is just over the line. If you hate someone, want to get rid or someone, just do it but please leave God out of it. Don’t use God.

I wonder what kind of church is this and if it is even an authentic church. It’s a weird weird church. I have no idea what it is.

I have no idea what to do. I think the natural thing to do is to leave the church, which I have been considering for so long. But I am angry and bitter and most of all, leaving will not solve anything, and especially the core problem at this church and at my fellowship.



It is a vicious cycle.


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