Thinking Too Much About Church

One disease about being a pastor’s kid is that you think about church WAY TOO MUCH.

It’s hard not to do when at least 70% of dinner conversation is about church and whatever topic the family talks about usually has a way of turning into church related topic. It’s just so unavoidable. It is just the problem with living in a pastor’s household where house members are passionate about the church. In the pastor’s household, your life somewhat revolves around the church, church is life (which can be sad). It is very natural for a pastor’s kid to be active at church or be serving in some kind of capacity. At one time, I was serving as choirs member, audio person for Saturday and Sunday service, usher, small group leader, fellowship committee member, children fellowship leader and in the basketball team. I felt like I was working 2 days at church in additional to the 5 days I work at my company.

I try not to think of church too much but I can’t help it. The worst thing about being in the pastor’s household is knowing all the dirt and issues of your church. It’s torturing. I sometimes think that maybe I know too much for my benefit. There are always some issues at church, always stupid church politics.

Every now and then we, the kids, do get sick of church discussion because sometimes it can get very discouraging because of the simple truth that the church is a gathering of sinners with many issues. Sometimes I just want to tune myself out. I will devote another post to how to deal with negative things at church, but let’s not get off topic.

How to not think too much about church?

For me, it’s important for me to have friends who don’t go to my church. As a pastor’s kid, there is a gab between pastor’s kid and other people at church. There is a level of intimacy that is hard to reach, unless you grew up at the church at a very young age.

Have some activities or hobbies outside of church. They can be anything from card collecting, hiking, sport, art and etc. Best if they don’t involve church friends or at least not the majority.

Expand social circle outside of church’s social circle.

The main thing is, have a life outside of church.


2 thoughts on “Thinking Too Much About Church

  1. You bring an interesting and necessary perspective to the traditional church format issue, which often presents serious problems from a real fellowship point of view. Church members learn early on what they can say and what they better never say. They know there is a grapevine that is usually not regulated. It must be that much more difficult to be in your position. It speaks volumes for you to suggest having friends outside your church. They did not have this problem in the first century. They had a much different format. Thanks.


    • Dear RJ, thanks for you comment. My reasons for starting this blog is to let other understands PKs as well as help PKs and other people who are in similar situations with my insight.

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